character profiles

The ONE thing, besides self-discovery, that made going to prison worth it was getting to know other people in a an environment or circumstance I wouldn't have otherwise.  Most anything you read about regarding criminals and inmates is either from people conducting a study, or anecdotal.  Coming from me, sure, makes it anecdotal.  But it's different when you live among people.

Regardless of my innocence or guilt, being incarcerated put me on the same playing field as those I was locked up with.  No better than them, no worse.  And because I was genuinely interested in getting to know people for whom they were, not the crime they did or didn't commit, I really got to know the people behind the crime.  

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If you really pay attention when you read my journals, you'll find a type of intimacy that doesn't exist the same way in the real world.  The best example of this, in my opinion, was while I was in jail.  The thing is, you are locked up in a teeny-tiny space for 3 months with the same people day in and day out.  Either you engage with others, or you shut yourself off.

There is nothing else to do, so the gap between getting to know someone and developing some type of "care" for them is pretty quick.  I think I mentioned somewhere in my journals that the number of inmates engaged in some sort of romantic relationship with another inmate (regardless of their sexual orientation in the "real world") was staggering.  I wasn't in a romantic relationship with anyone during my incarceration, but I could easily see how lines could be blurred.  Especially for a co-dependent, fixer, wants-to-help-everyone do-gooder like me.  Relationships definitely ran closer to intimate (not sexual).

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Some of them were funny.  Some were sad.  Some were perplexing.  Most were annoying.  Many were bullies.  Most were decent.  

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So many people came in to my life, from officers, to inmates, to co-workers, to volunteers... people I will never forget. People that left an impression in some way, shape, or form.  I have never forgotten them, and never will.  Many of them, I still wonder about.  

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In these pages, I would like to expand and record the things I remember about them.  Deep down, regardless of their crimes, I feel like each person I met had a story that should be told.  I hope I can remember enough to do them justice.